Posted in personal

Real Talk

Dear Friends,

I have a double issue coming out in the next couple of days, so be on the lookout for that. I’ve made a habit of actually writing my recipes down as I make them, which maybe sounds strange, but I grew up just throwing a bit of this and that together so it’s actually been a funny transition to write actual real recipes that can be accurately reproduced. But I got myself a little notebook that I keep on the counter when I’m making something so I can write down what I put in and how much before I forget and make notes. Thanks to Prime Day, I also have a kitchen scale coming for improved accuracy. 🙂

There’s so much vying for my attention right now that I keep saying “I’ll type them up later” and then “later,” and then “later…” And here we are. Two weeks have gone by and I’ve typed out three of nearly ten that I’ve got stored up. I have pictures to edit as well and so on. I’ve been going through a bit of a rough spot emotionally. Summer is like that for me, there are layers and layers of big things that come up one after the other in Summer that get me thinking. This year, as I mentioned in my last post, I have to add the sudden loss of my darling pup to the list. I guess not everyone does this but, because pets are like children in my family, I’ve spent what was probably an unhealthy amount of time over the past two weeks questioning every decision I ever made concerning her and berating myself for every time I skipped giving a treat or taking a walk. And then doing anything I could to distract myself from having to think about it.

Finally, over the past couple of days, I forced myself to stop. To be still and forgive myself. To realize that I don’t have a ton of pictures of or with her because I spent all of our time together just enjoying her presence; I was too busy stroking the soft fur on the tips of her ears, the sides of her face, and between her eyes to bother with photos. I heard someone recently say that some animals have souls, and I really hope that’s true because it certainly felt like she did. In either case, still, her name is like a wound, Olivia, little Via, my sweet girl. I can only express all of this because I don’t have to physically say it, I’m sure the day will come when I can talk about her without crying, but it’s definitely not today.

Thank your for your patience if you’re still following, and sorry about the wall of text. I’m gonna go blow my nose now, but watch for that double menu soon! Fingers crossed that my next few posts won’t be so serious!